The Quiet Crisis: Why We Feel Disconnected From Our Lives
And what we can do about it...
(Feel free to listen to the audio format of this essay below…)
Hey, Friend. I hope these words find you well. Recently, I shared a poll with this community asking my readers and students how and why they use journaling in their lives. 65% stated they use journaling for self-discovery & awareness. When I shared the same poll on social media, the results offered that 95% of the community used journaling for self-discovery and awareness. Everywhere we look in the online world, in the media, on billboards, in conversation-there’s this covert plea to pause and slow down. We call it “mental health" “wellness” “well-being” “being present" “mindfulness” “self-care…” These buzz words seem to echo this lost and visceral feeling of quiet desperation for a need to STOP. PAUSE, and SLOW DOWN. But for some reason, it seems like an impossible or insurmountable feat!
Do YOU feel this in YOUR life?
Why is it that we're CRAVING knowledge about ourselves? Our personal relationship with ourselves should be the MOST intimate relationship we cultivate, but yet, we're so far removed from “self.”
Listen, this has been on my mind for a while now and nobody's talking about it, so I thought I'd share my Food for Thought with you. (Thanks for being here and for listening.)
I don't know if you've noticed, but there’s this phenomenon happening to so many of us, and it’s hard to even put into words. It’s not loud or obvious. It doesn’t feel like a meltdown or some huge dramatic event. It’s quieter than that. It’s this feeling that you’re not fully IN your life, like you’re on autopilot. You’re getting stuff done, going through the motions, but there’s this distance-between you and your own experiences, between you and the people around you, and maybe even between you and your own heart.
That’s what I mean by a “quiet crisis.” It’s this slow drift away from yourself, and it happens so gradually that you might not even notice it at first. Life looks fine on the surface, but deep down, something feels “off.” You’re not as happy or peaceful as you want to be, not as fulfilled or purposeful or connected, not as present. And here’s the thing-it’s happening to so many of us.
Why It’s So Quiet
This kind of disconnection doesn’t shout for attention. It sneaks in during the little moments-like when you’re scrolling on your phone for hours, when you’re zoning out during conversations, or when you’re so busy crossing things off your to-do list that you forget why you’re even doing them.
And because it’s so subtle, it’s easy to ignore. We brush it off. We tell ourselves, “I’m just tired,” or “this is normal,” but is it really NORMAL to feel this disconnected from your own life?
It’s quiet because we’re taught to keep pushing through. To stay busy. To keep achieving. We don’t stop to check in with ourselves, and when we do feel that weird emptiness, we don’t know what to do with it. So we keep going, hoping it’ll work itself out. But it doesn’t.
How Disconnection Shows Up in our Lives
Disconnection looks different for everyone, but there are a few ways it might show up in your life:
1. You’re on Autopilot
You’re doing all the things you’re “supposed” to do-work, family, responsibilities-but it feels mechanical. Like you’re just going through the motions. Like you're just reacting.
2. You Don’t Feel Excited About Anything
Think back for a minute...when was the last time you felt really lit up by something? If it’s been a while, that might be a sign.
3. You’re Always Distracted
Your phone’s buzzing, your brain’s racing, and there’s always something demanding your attention. It’s hard to sit still or focus on one thing.
4. You Don’t Know What You Want
If someone asked you what you truly value, want or need, would you be able to answer? A lot of us can't, and that’s a big part of the disconnect.
Why This Should Matter to You
You may be wondering, “Nicole, I hear you but what’s your point? Why does this even matter?” I get it. It’s easy to brush this off as no big deal, but the truth is, disconnection can really mess with your life-the evidence is real.
1. It Affects Your Mental Health
Research is showing that we are in a collective mental health crisis. Our mental and emotional health has plummeted in the last four years alone! Why? Because, when we're not connected to ourselves, to others, to something bigger than ourselves or to our own lives, it’s easy to feel empty, lonely, or even depressed. It’s hard to find joy when we’re not fully present. It’s hard to practice gratitude when we don’t take time to NOTICE. It's hard to cultivate peace when our thoughts are in chaos.
2. It Hurts Your Relationships
You can’t show up for the people you love, care for or serve if you’re not showing up for yourself. Disconnection creates emotional, (and many times,) physical distance even in close relationships.
3. It Steals Your Purpose
Life starts to feel hollow. You might start questioning why you’re doing any of this in the first place.
So, How Did We Get Here?
This is absolutely a question worth asking, and as I've been doing my research on this topic, I'm finding that this “disconnection” didn’t happen overnight. It’s the result of living in a world that’s constantly pulling us away from ourselves, and I'm asking myself, “Why?” Why are we ok with this? What’s behind this “disconnection?” Who benefits from us being out of touch with our own lives? (It makes you think, doesn’t it?)
Over the years, I've noticed that these societal characteristics foster our sense of disconnection:
There's Too Much Noise
We’re bombarded with notifications, emails, and social media all day. Our brains are so overstimulated that there’s no room for reflection or stillness.
We're Too Busy
Being busy has become a status symbol. If you’re not hustling, it feels like you’re falling behind. But this constant busyness keeps us disconnected from what really matters.
We're Desperately Seeking External Acceptance & Validation
From a young age, we’re taught to chase goals that make sense to society—success, identity validation, role expectations, achievement, status. But those goals and choices don’t always align with what we truly value, need and desire and so over time, our disconnection deepens.
How Can We Reconnect?
Here's the good news, you can “find your way back.” It’s not easy, but it’s possible. Here’s how to start:
1. Slow Down
The first step is to stop. Literally. Take a break from the constant rush and give yourself space to notice what’s REALLY going on.
2. Check In
Ask yourself simple but powerful questions like:
How am I feeling right now?
What do I need?
What’s been on my mind?
These questions might feel weird at first, but they’re important.
3. Limit Distractions
Turn off your phone. Close the laptop. Spend time away from the noise. Pray. Meditate. Breathe. Silence might feel uncomfortable at first, but it creates space for clarity.
4. Reconnect with What Matters
Reflect on your values. What’s really important to you? Are you living in a way that honors those values? If not, what small changes can you make?
5. Start Small
Reconnection doesn’t happen overnight. Begin with small, intentional actions—a morning walk, five minutes of journaling, or one moment of stillness a day.
It’s Time to Come Back to Yourself
This quiet crisis doesn’t have to be continuously nutured in YOUR life..
YOU don’t have to keep going through the motions, feeling like something’s missing. As you CHOOSE to slow down, check in, and make intentional changes, you can reconnect-with yourself, your life, your faith, and the people around you.
The first step? Just notice. Notice where you feel disconnected. Notice what’s been tugging at you. And then take one small step toward showing up for yourself.
Reconnecting isn’t about being perfect or fixing everything all at once. It’s about finding your way back, one small, meaningful step at a time. You were created for abundance-to feel present, full, alive, and connected. It starts with you.
QUESTIONS WORTH ASKING:
1. What am I doing regularly that feels out of alignment with who I truly am?
Go Deeper: Reflect on your routines, habits, or commitments. Are they helping you feel connected, or are they pulling you further away from your authentic self?
2. When was the last time I felt fully present and alive?
Go Deeper: Think about a moment when you felt deeply engaged with life—what were you doing, and what made it so meaningful?
3. What is one small step I can take today to reconnect with myself or my life?
Go Deeper: Whether it’s slowing down, setting a boundary, or simply pausing to reflect, identify one actionable way to begin your journey back to connection.
My friend, this week, I implore you to take a step back and pause and acknowledge your existence. Create space for what your heart is calling for in this season. Take time to notice your thoughts, sit with your emotions, focus on your faith, be intentional with your choices.
I say this often, but it continues to be true-we only have ONE life, and it’s short. You are worthy of a fulfilled and meaningful human experience.
Listen, if you desire more support with reflecting on your life, I designed The Journal Coaching Toolkit for you.
In the Toolkit, you'll find a variety of holistic wellness practices that will invite you to reconnect with your mind, body and heart and reflect on each area of your life. It's a great starting point for creating and living your life with more presence and intention. Feel free to reach out with any questions.
I truly appreciate you being here. Thank you for reading my words. 🙏🏽
Take what you need & take good care.
Nicole Annette